Sunday, August 11, 2013

The Carousel Horse

This is my first ever Flash Fiction Photo-Promt Writer Wednesday Challenge.

I must admit... I'm a little nervous. And a little intimidated by some of the work I've read from of the other amazing writers from prompts gone by... :-)

My lovely & awesome host for the prompt is Nicole at World Of My Imagination. Here's the prompt.

The rules are simple. I have to use the 5 words provided in the story as well as the picture. 500 words or less. (I am unable to insert pictures in my blog posts currently. Something to do with my browsers. They keep crashing on me. So if you'd like to see the picture please check out Nicole's blog from the link above!)

Word Count: 498
The Words: passport, sunrise, carousel, travel, school

The Carousel Horse

Iza was finally going to get out of the sleepy seaside town of Port Haring when she left for school tomorrow. No more boring days working at her Dad’s shop, The Tin Shed, while everyone else got to have fun. Sometimes it felt like she was in prison the way he kept her on lockdown, but soon it would be her turn. She would travel to Paris and study under some of the worlds most reknowned Chefs. Her passport had arrived, everything was packed and she was ready to go. All that remained was for her to say goodbye to her best friend Luca.
It was after dark and the store was closed. Tourists didn’t go antique shopping after sunset, it was just too creepy. She disagreed. Even though she lacked enthuisaism for the job, there were many pieces in her dad’s collection that she loved. The old carousel horse was her favorite. She prayed everyday that no one would buy it. No one ever did. She suspected that it was because it looked as if it had been through utter hell, but those dull black eyes, scuffed hooves and peeling paint only added to it’s charm.

She and Luca had made a special trip, nearly four hours away, to a town inland to retrieve it from an old abandoned amusement park. Her dad hadn’t been happy about them sneaking away. Luca also harbored reservations about going, but Iza had insisted. It was her dad’s birthday after all and he deserved something unique. Despite it’s creepiness, the horse always seemed to be the center of conversation.

Resting her head on the counter she watched the horse, it’s unblinking eyes looked back in sadness and for a moment she felt sorry for it. Iza frowned letting her eyes slip shut and her thoughts drift. When she opened them again it was sunrise.

Turning to look at the horse, her smile twisted and her mouth opened. It’s eyes burned red with fire, and an angry accusing glare. Her scream shattered the stillness.

“Thorazine, now.” Someone shouted. Her arm stung. The liquid felt like lava in her veins. A tear rolled down her cheek and her eyelids drooped. Her hand was grasped and Iza strained to see who it was.

“Daddy?” Her voice was hoarse. She willed her gaze to stay on him. “Where am I, where’s Luca?”

“Oh sweety,” He held her hand and leaned down to kiss her forehead. His voice cracked as he looked away. “You and Luca were drinking. You were driving and there was an accident. You and that damn horse were thrown out of the truck.”

“I want to see him, where is he?” Her lip trembled.

“I’m sorry, he didn’t make it...”

The chemicals were winning, pushing her eyes closed. Her body was heavy and the voices in the room were distored. She heard her dad. He sounded miles away speaking to the doctor.

“It’s been five years, she’s never getting out of here...”


  1. Jessica--for the first time at bat, you hit a home run! What a great story. I loved the way you think the story will go, but I was wrong. The prompt words were seamlessly woven into the story. That's not an easy thing to do and you did a great job. I hope you continue to participate in these little exercises. They're fun and they help you become a better writer. Well done!

    1. Oh wow, thank you so much for the kind words! I'm glad that you enjoyed it. :-)
      And I certainly plan on continuing to do as many prompts as often as I can. I was considering going back through some of the ones from previous weeks & trying my hand at those just for the fun of it!

  2. I agree you've done a great job and I wasn't expecting the ending. I look forward to reading more of your work. Well done.

    1. Thank you again for such kind words. That means a lot to me considering this is the first thing I've really written in well over ten years.

  3. Excellent story, it was a feel good read until the word "thorazine" and then it took a wicked bend. Look forward to more of your entries!